How I Evolved as a Writer Script
Thesis Statement
I think I’ve grown as a writer this semester because I include more evidence in my writing that backs up my thinking.
Process
I think the assignment that caused this evolution was the write up for A Christmas Carol because I think it was the first time where I was really excited and proud of my writing this semester. When I was writing my first draft my group and I hadn’t really done any research and I don’t think I fully understood how many homeless people there are in San Diego and how easy it is to help. My first draft of my write up is half of a page and there is only 1 statistic to back up why we think homelessness is a big problem. I write: ¨This idea is helpful because a lot of people are hungry.¨ But on my final draft I write, “Our idea is helpful because Susan Heavey in her article, Hunger and Homelessness Rise in U.S. Cities, states, ¨Among those seeking emergency food...8.5% were homeless.¨ Instead of me just saying the homeless are hungry and need food I’m backing my statement up with statistics. My final draft of my write up that is on my DP is almost 2 pages, there are a lot of statistics and quotes to back up my thinking and my final draft clearly explains why my group is doing what we’re doing to help the homeless. All of my quotes are properly cited at the bottom of the page and I’m actually very proud of my research portion I think it gets across my reasoning, and proves why my groups idea is going to help the homeless. I think my change happened when I was writing the research part of my write up and I googled ¨ways to help the homeless¨ and all of these results started popping up with really good advice and statistics on what the best ways to help the homeless are. So I got really excited and started inserting lots of quotes from all these different websites and I really think it helps make my idea seem more helpful. I also enjoyed this project because we got to call around to different stores like Target, Walmart, and Costco and ask for donations of things to help the homeless. My group ended up getting $125 in donations and on Sunday we put care packages together and went to hand them out. This was a really cool experience for me because I didn't fully realize how much the little things can help and it was also cool seeing how all my hard work and research actually helped me help people. Because of that experience I think I’ve grown because now believe that I can make more of a difference.
Areas for Growth
I want to grow by continuing to have evidence to back up my thoughts. I overheard Ms. Janna the other day telling some students that she had a teacher that made her have evidence for everything she wrote. And even though I’m sure that was a total pain I think it might actually be really cool to try to do something like that. Since debate was my 6th period and we had to write a lot of arguments I realized that you’re opinion doesn’t win debates, you need statistics, quotes, personal experiences, evidence. I some day want to write a paper where no one can question my thinking because I have evidence to back up all my thoughts. I am going to achieve this goal by making my A Christmas Carol write up even better. I’m actually very excited to keep working on it. Yesterday when I was supposed to be working on POL prep I actually stopped for like 15 minutes and added in some more research I found.
Symbolism
This image represents me (or my thoughts) falling without evidence and the people (my evidence) catching and supporting my thoughts.
I think I’ve grown as a writer this semester because I include more evidence in my writing that backs up my thinking.
Process
I think the assignment that caused this evolution was the write up for A Christmas Carol because I think it was the first time where I was really excited and proud of my writing this semester. When I was writing my first draft my group and I hadn’t really done any research and I don’t think I fully understood how many homeless people there are in San Diego and how easy it is to help. My first draft of my write up is half of a page and there is only 1 statistic to back up why we think homelessness is a big problem. I write: ¨This idea is helpful because a lot of people are hungry.¨ But on my final draft I write, “Our idea is helpful because Susan Heavey in her article, Hunger and Homelessness Rise in U.S. Cities, states, ¨Among those seeking emergency food...8.5% were homeless.¨ Instead of me just saying the homeless are hungry and need food I’m backing my statement up with statistics. My final draft of my write up that is on my DP is almost 2 pages, there are a lot of statistics and quotes to back up my thinking and my final draft clearly explains why my group is doing what we’re doing to help the homeless. All of my quotes are properly cited at the bottom of the page and I’m actually very proud of my research portion I think it gets across my reasoning, and proves why my groups idea is going to help the homeless. I think my change happened when I was writing the research part of my write up and I googled ¨ways to help the homeless¨ and all of these results started popping up with really good advice and statistics on what the best ways to help the homeless are. So I got really excited and started inserting lots of quotes from all these different websites and I really think it helps make my idea seem more helpful. I also enjoyed this project because we got to call around to different stores like Target, Walmart, and Costco and ask for donations of things to help the homeless. My group ended up getting $125 in donations and on Sunday we put care packages together and went to hand them out. This was a really cool experience for me because I didn't fully realize how much the little things can help and it was also cool seeing how all my hard work and research actually helped me help people. Because of that experience I think I’ve grown because now believe that I can make more of a difference.
Areas for Growth
I want to grow by continuing to have evidence to back up my thoughts. I overheard Ms. Janna the other day telling some students that she had a teacher that made her have evidence for everything she wrote. And even though I’m sure that was a total pain I think it might actually be really cool to try to do something like that. Since debate was my 6th period and we had to write a lot of arguments I realized that you’re opinion doesn’t win debates, you need statistics, quotes, personal experiences, evidence. I some day want to write a paper where no one can question my thinking because I have evidence to back up all my thoughts. I am going to achieve this goal by making my A Christmas Carol write up even better. I’m actually very excited to keep working on it. Yesterday when I was supposed to be working on POL prep I actually stopped for like 15 minutes and added in some more research I found.
Symbolism
This image represents me (or my thoughts) falling without evidence and the people (my evidence) catching and supporting my thoughts.
My Evidence
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“This idea is helpful because because a lot of people are hungry.”
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“Our idea is helpful because Susan Heavey in her article, Hunger and Homelessness Rise in U.S. Cities, states, ‘Among those seeking emergency food...8.5% were homeless.”
|
My Symbolic Image
POL Panelist Reflection
It was interesting to me how Carlos could've had someone translate for him but he chose to do it himself in English. But he chose to do it himself and he was really confident when he was presenting and answering questions. I thought it was really cool that he chose to do it himself.
I learned that to have a good POL you need to know what you're talking about (be prepared) and try and stand still when your presenting, I learned this from Anakarimhe's presentation. I also learned that you need to be able to answer questions confidently from Carlos' presentation.
"The whole goal of the POLs is to get students to share a meaningful learning experience, one where we can discuss each student's strengths, passions and how he/she can improve even more. Do you think we, as an audience, helped EVERY student achieve that goal? Why or why not? What could we do to improve next year's panel so that we achieve that goal for EVERY student?"
I think most students achieved that goal because of the questions they were asked, and when the panel talked about celebrations and areas of growth for each student. But if good questions weren't asked every time then it might be hard for each and EVERY student to share a meaningful learning experience. So I think a way to improve would be to somehow make sure all the students get asked good questions.
I learned that to have a good POL you need to know what you're talking about (be prepared) and try and stand still when your presenting, I learned this from Anakarimhe's presentation. I also learned that you need to be able to answer questions confidently from Carlos' presentation.
"The whole goal of the POLs is to get students to share a meaningful learning experience, one where we can discuss each student's strengths, passions and how he/she can improve even more. Do you think we, as an audience, helped EVERY student achieve that goal? Why or why not? What could we do to improve next year's panel so that we achieve that goal for EVERY student?"
I think most students achieved that goal because of the questions they were asked, and when the panel talked about celebrations and areas of growth for each student. But if good questions weren't asked every time then it might be hard for each and EVERY student to share a meaningful learning experience. So I think a way to improve would be to somehow make sure all the students get asked good questions.
POL Presenter Reflection
The most interesting question I was asked during my POL was asked by Ms. Janna and her question was, "Since you used black pen on your trigonometry packet you can look back on and learn from your mistakes, does this make you team black pen?" I said that I do now understand why we use black pen for physics because we can look back on and learn from our mistakes but when I'm writing I don't like to use black pen because its hard to erase.
If I were to do my POL again I would elaborate more on some of the things I said, to fill up all the time I had. I would also work on my presentation skills more, like standing still when I present and talking slower so that people can understand me better.
My top goal for second semester is to become more of a leader in physics and to push myself harder in my classes. Ms. Quinny helped me think of my physics goal. I will challenge myself by taking all the opportunities to challenge myself or for extra credit. I hope that Ms. Quinny will tell me that I took her advice and became more of a leader in physics at my next POL.
If I were to do my POL again I would elaborate more on some of the things I said, to fill up all the time I had. I would also work on my presentation skills more, like standing still when I present and talking slower so that people can understand me better.
My top goal for second semester is to become more of a leader in physics and to push myself harder in my classes. Ms. Quinny helped me think of my physics goal. I will challenge myself by taking all the opportunities to challenge myself or for extra credit. I hope that Ms. Quinny will tell me that I took her advice and became more of a leader in physics at my next POL.
